Elizabeth and Edwin are very different people who are in a relationship. Are relationships better when couples are different ("opposites attract") or similar ("birds of a feather flock together")?

Question

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

Answer: Most of the original research in this area, which focused on attitudes and beliefs, found that similarity is best—strangers with similar attitudes and values were more attracted to each other, and relationships among people with similar beliefs and views lasted longer. Attitudes, however, are not the same as personality. It makes sense that people who have the same attitudes about politics, religion, gender roles, and how to raise a child will have smoother relationships—there will be much less to negotiate and argue about. Several recent studies have not found a similarity effect for personality traits such as those of the Big Five. One recent study of married couples, for example, found that couples with similar personalities were actually less satisfied with their marriages in the long run. Another major study found no relationship between personality matching and relationship satisfaction. And in one special case of personality—dominance—those of opposite types were actually more attracted to each other, probably because two dominant people in a relationship might have power struggles.