Tom and Katie are a middle-aged couple, and they have decided to get a divorce. They have one daughter, Laurie, who is seven years old. Discuss how the divorce is likely to affect all three members of this family. What would you recommend as a way of easing the negative impact of the divorce?
What will be an ideal response?
Both parents are likely to experience similar emotions, including disappointment, rejection, and a feeling of being misunderstood. The research does not specify anger as an emotion that is commonly experienced by divorcing adults, though individual instructors may discuss this outside of the textbook presentation. There may also be profound feelings of failure, given that the relationship did not succeed.
Either member of the relationship may experience a "divorce hangover," which is a failure to move on after the relationship is over. This can impair the establishment of new friendships and can inhibit new attempts to date other people.
Because the divorce is happening in middle-age years, it may be more psychologically positive for Katie, though the statistics suggest that it will also take more of a financial toll on her. This is not the case in all circumstances, and individual details of their situation will mediate this effect.
The impact on Laurie will be complex. She is likely to spend more time with her mother, and the risk of alienation from her father is great. If the divorce does not proceed in a "healthy" fashion (and even if it does), some long-term effects on Laurie may include difficulties in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood in the future.
A collaborative divorce is a voluntary, contractually based alternative dispute resolution process for couples who want to negotiate a resolution of their situation rather than having a ruling imposed upon them by a court or arbitrator. Couples who go through a collaborative divorce benefit in terms of less conflict, greater father involvement, and better outcomes for children. This will help to promote more of an ongoing relationship between Tom and Laurie.
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