You have been best friends with Taban since you were children, so when you hear the news that his mom passed away last week, you are heartbroken for him. You know that you need to be there for Taban during the grieving process, so you start thinking about how to best comfort him. Explain your thoughts and expected behaviors.
What will be an ideal response?
- Students' answers will vary, simply because there are a number of skills and strategies that one can employ when helping someone deal with a recent death. A strong answer will address the fact that there are several approaches, and no single approach will be beneficial to everyone. Following is a sample response:
* Helping someone to cope with a loss is a challenging task, simply because grieving is such a personal process. There are many strategies that I can use to help my friend Taban.
* I need to socially decenter and think about how I would want to be approached if I were to lose a family member.
* It will also help for me to be other-oriented and think about what would help Taban the most.
# Through experience, I know that he likes to talk about his problems and just have someone listen to him.
# Often, simply listening to someone is a great way to help them grieve, so since that is what usually helps Taban the most, I'll start by expressing my willingness to listen.
* After listening, I need to reaffirm how much I care about him and give him a hug.
* Then, I need to tell him that I am here to support him and will help him with whatever he needs.
* Sometimes the use of humor is an ok tactic to use.
# Since Taban is generally a funny guy, if the opportunity arises, maybe I can make him laugh or smile. I should only use humor after gauging how Taban is feeling, though.
* Above all, I need to keep in mind that the best thing I can do is to simply be physically present for Taban.
# If my plan doesn't seem to be working, just being there for Tabin, using confirming listening skills, and giving him a hug is what is best to do.
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