Imagine that a good friend asks you for advice concerning how to improvecommunication in her marriage. Describe four research-based recommendations you would give to her
What will be an ideal response?
Answer: Students should discuss four of the following:
1. Positive framing: When your partner asks you to do something, say what you can do rather than what you cannot do or don't want to do. Say,"I'd enjoy playing tennis," NOT "I don't want to go hang out with your boring friends again!"
2. Express appreciation: Say,"Thanks for doing the dishes" vs. "You missed one!"
3. Avoid silent treatment: Say something when arriving, leaving, or going to bed.
4. Don't be a "psychopest." Don't analyze your partner's behavior as a guise for being a critic. "Hmm, that's just like your mother's behavior."
5. Speak for yourself, not your partner. Don't say,"I know YOU'D enjoy a movie"—say "I'd really enjoy a movie."
6. Say it directly. Don't say,"Do you want to eat out?" when you're thinking "I'm dying to eat Mexican food."
7. Nothing nice to say? Then keep quiet.
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