You personally rushed out of work to meet a friend for dinner. As is quite often the case, your friend arrived over 15 minutes late. Explain the difference between a you-message and I-message and provide an example of each that you might use to address this friend. Which message would be more constructive and why?
What will be an ideal response?
The ideal answer should include:
- A you-message directs an evaluation or judgment toward the other person. For example, "You always arrive late."
- In contrast, the related I-message would be more descriptive. For example, "It would be helpful to me if I could time my arrival more closely with yours."
- You-messages are less constructive as they can create resentment or defensiveness. An I-message is more supportive and therefore constructive.
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