Ashley is 17. Her parents are frustrated by her selfish and destructive behavior:
She
occasionally skips school; she neglects her chores at home, including her bedroom and pets; she
drains the car of gas "cruising" with her friends; she talks on her cell phone almost constantly;
and she pushes the boundaries of her curfew consistently. Using John Gottman's set of
suggestions for handling conflict, recommend a plan of action for Ashley's parents in dealing
with her behavior.
What will be an ideal response?
The answer to this query should include a discussion of all of some of the following
strategies:
* pick your battles carefully (don't make each issue equal; skipping school is likely more
important than the cell phone use)
* schedule a discussion (sit down together to discuss your frustrations and Ashley's needs)
* employ a structure (build an agenda, persuade and argue, resolve)
* moderate your emotions (being overly emotional will complicate the issue)
* acknowledge Ashley's viewpoint before making your own point
* communicate nondefensively (don't have an agenda, use "I" language, be other-oriented)
* provide comfort and positive reinforcement
* seek help if all else fails
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