Straus presents a rebuttal to ten myths that perpetuate corporal punishment
He suggests
four strategies that are more powerful than spanking: setting clear standards for
expectations, providing lots of love and affection, explaining things to the child,
recognizing and rewarding good behavior. Explain how spanking undermines each of the
four strategies.
What will be an ideal response?
Setting clear standards: Spanking eliminates any possibility of knowing that the child did
not understand, could not perform, was tempted beyond control, could not apply known
standards to a novel situation, was subjected to unbearable peer pressure. Parents cannot
then ally themselves with the child in an attempt to correct the underlying error.
Providing lots of love and affection: Hitting the child, then loving him/her up is parallel
to a double bind. The child may have difficulty distinguishing what is expected, how the
parent really feels about the situation, getting away with it the next time, feeling the
parent is indecisive and not clear about standards. It makes no sense to hurt and profess
love.
Explaining things to the child: If the child is spanked, then things are explained the
damage is already done to the relationship. If the explanation is given, then the spanking
is done, the parent is taking responsibility for the child's behavior, issuing punishment,
and then the matter can be forgotten and repeated. The child is off the hook. Recognizing
and rewarding good behavior: We tend to remember punishment more than rewards. It is
difficult to see the "good" if a parent is looking for the "bad" behavior. Intermittent
reward and harsh punishment are baffling to the child if he or she has no clear
understanding of what is expected.
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