Corrective Email To Staff Analyze the following email message for content, formatting, and email practices. Revise the message. To: Staff Subject: Changes It has come to my attention that some of you apparently do not have enough work to keep yourselves
busy. In the past six months, since I assumed the position as your boss, I have observed many of you playing computer games, making personal phone calls, and spending far too much time in personal conversations with each other. We have far too much work in this department for all of you to waste time like this. Effective immediately, the following changes will be enforced: (a) No personal use of the computer will be tolerated. (b) No personal phone calls should be made except in case of emergency. (c) Conversations must be limited to break time and lunchtime, in the lunchroom only. I expect your cooperation. Thank you. Just a final reminder that we will have a staff meeting tomorrow at 3 p.m.
The analysis of the email is discussed below:
a. Subject line should be more detailed but not negative.
b. Tone of the email should not be harsh and condescending to avoid damage to morale and interpersonal relations.
c. Email should start by reminding staff of the busy workload, focusing on a positive team approach for accomplishing the daily work.
d. Policy regarding personal use of the computer and phones should be reviewed. Facts should be stated clearly to the staff, but not in a harsh tone.
e. The staff meeting reminder should be sent in another email and not written as an afterthought to this email.
f. The email should preferably be sent as a confirmation of the changes, following discussion in a face-to-face staff meeting.
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A proposed solution follows:
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To: Staff
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From: Manager
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Subject: Work culture improvement
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Hello, everyone,
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Most of you have noticed the increased workload we have had in the past few months. Some of you have worked extra hard to keep up with the demands, but it has become increasingly important that each one of us give our best so we can all avoid working overtime. Staying on top of things requires a team effort with everyone contributing equally.
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I would like to remind you to take advantage of your morning and afternoon breaks and give yourself your full lunchtime. This will help relieve work stress and give you a regular scheduled time to chat with your coworkers. Feel free to use the tables in the courtyard or the lunchroom. The office computers should not be used to play games as company policy requires that computers be used for work purposes only. Also, please limit personal phone calls on the company phone to emergency situations. Following these guidelines will allow all of us to be more productive.
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We have a good staff, and I appreciate your hard work.
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Thanks,
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