Describe some of the common signs of defensiveness in interactions between couples. Illustrate your answer with examples.
What will be an ideal response?
The following are some signs of defensiveness in interactions:
Denying responsibility: Partners may insist that they are not to blame, regardless of the accusations against them.
Making excuses: One partner may claim that external forces caused a behavior or action that upset the other partner.
Disagreeing with a partner's attempts to attribute negativity in thoughts: One partner may attribute negative thoughts to the other partner or make assumptions about that partner's private thoughts, feelings, motives, or behaviors. When this kind of "mind-reading" is delivered back to the partner, it can often trigger defensiveness.
Cross-complaining: Instead of hearing one another's complaints, one partner may simply complain in response to the other's complaint and completely ignore the concern that the other partner just stated.
Repeating yourself: Partners often restate their position without hearing or considering the opinion of the other person.
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