Your friend is going through a break-up with her boyfriend. Describe how you can best counsel your friend by discussing the nine guidelines

Question

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

Answer will include that you should use the following basic counseling skills: (1) Active listening involves making a sincere effort to listen to and understand the person and to try to accept the person's message, without judging it or leaping to conclusions. (2) Reflecting thoughts and feelings is one of the best things you can do when offering support to another person. Reflecting involves giving feedback by simply restating what is said. This is also a good way to encourage a person to talk. For example, if your friend seems to be at a loss for words, restate or paraphrase his or her last sentence. (3) Silence is important, that is, you should listen patiently and not interrupt your friend. Counselors tend to wait longer before responding than do people in everyday conversations, so pauses of five seconds or more are not unusual. Listening patiently lets the person feel unhurried and encourages her or him to speak freely. (4) Ask open-ended questions to encourage free expression better than closed questions. (5) Clarify the problem. An important aspect of counseling involves clarifying the problem and trying to understand the problem from the person's point of view. People who have a clear idea of what is wrong in their lives are more likely to discover solutions. (6) By focusing on feelings, you can encourage the outpouring of emotion that is the basis for catharsis. Passing judgment on what is said just makes people defensive. (7) Avoid giving advice. Many people mistakenly think that they must solve problems for others. Remember that your goal is to provide understanding and support, not solutions. Of course, it is reasonable to give advice when you are asked for it, but beware of the trap of the "Why don't you . . . ? Yes, but . . .". game. (For example, someone says, "I have this problem.". You say, "Why don't you do thus and so?" The person replies, "Yes, but . . .". and then tells you why your suggestion won't work. If you make a new suggestion, the reply will once again be, "Yes, but . . .".) Obviously, the person either knows more about his or her personal situation than you do, or he or she has reasons for avoiding your advice. (8) Accept the person's frame of reference. Because we all live in different psychological worlds, there is no "correct" view of a life situation. A person who feels that his or her viewpoint has been understood feels freer to examine it objectively and to question it.