A common problem in interpersonal communication is mindreading, which is assuming we understand what another person thinks, feels, or perceives. When we mindread, we act as if we know what's on another's mind, and this can get us into trouble. Marriage counselors and communication scholars say mindreading contributes to conflict between people. The danger of mindreading is that we may

Question

misinterpret others and have no way to check the accuracy of our perceptions. Sometimes we do understand one another, but sometimes we don't. Consider a few examples. One person says to her partner, "I know you didn't plan anything for our anniversary because it doesn't matter to you." Whether or not the partner made plans, it's impossible to guess motives or to know why the partner forgot, if indeed he did. A supervisor notices that an employee is late for work several days in a row and assumes the employee isn't committed to the job. One friend tells another, "You were late coming over because you're still mad about what happened yesterday." The speaker is guessing reasons for the friend's tardiness and could well be wrong. Mindreading also occurs when we say things such as "I know why you're upset" (Has the person said she or he is upset?) or "You don't care about me anymore" (maybe the other person is too preoccupied or worried to be as attentive as usual.) We also mindread when we tell ourselves we know how somebody else will feel or react or what he or she will do. The truth is we don't really know; we're only guessing. When we mindread, we impose our perspectives on others instead of allowing them to say what they think. This can cause misunderstandings and resentment because most of us prefer to speak for ourselves. The author suggests that

a. mindreading must be practiced so that one can become more efficient inusing it.
b. mindreading is a helpful way to fill in ideas that a shy person is not willing tosay.
c. mindreading makes friends better able to respond to each other's needs.
d. mindreading is often inaccurate and can lead to arguments among people.

Answer 1

d