Lying in bed, 88-year-old Margaret wakes and takes in her surroundings. Her daughter and granddaughter are in the room, one reading a magazine and the other reading her phone. Margaret is fortunate to have a private room in her nursing home, where she has been living since she suffered a stroke. Life here is better than she expected. The nurses are responsive, especially the kind night nurse who tells Margaret's daughter that she will check in often and does. The only thing Margaret doesn't like is that the nurses pressure her to socialize in the lounge each day. She'd rather sleep than be pushed out in her wheelchair to play games and watch television with the other elders. Her daughter urges her to eat, but she finds that she isn't very hungry anymore. Margaret feels lucky to have

Question

family who live nearby and visit very often. Margaret's children notice a change in their mother. She seems less sharp and each day seems a little bit more confused. She's often too tired to talk and drifts in and out of sleep.With time, Margaret sleeps nearly all of the time. In addition to her stroke-related impairments, she has congestive heart failure, which is not responding to treatment. A few days before her 89th birthday, the doctors tell Margaret's daughter that the time is near. Margaret's children and grandchildren gather in her room, waiting. They talk about old times and everyday life. Margaret is largely unconscious but now and then she calls out, moans, or talks to herself, reaching her arms out in front of her. As time goes on, her breathing becomes more labored and heavy, with occasional gasps. Margaret's children watch carefully and wait, attempting to talk with one another and retain a sense of normalcy. Finally, the room is quiet. Margaret's children know that she is gone. After 88 years and surrounded by family, Margaret has died.How might children and adolescents' responses differ when considering a parent's death?

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

Suggested Answer: Children's grief will depend on their age, but although they may be grappling with a basic understanding of death, there also may be some concern about who will take care of them. As they age, the grief process may be complicated by all the milestones they are experiencing that their parent will not get to see.
For the adolescent, the loss of a parent can lead to extreme feelings of loss, since they are able to understand the permanence of death. They may also feel that the death of their parent is not fair, given that their peers' parents are still alive. Although they may understand death, they have difficulty managing their emotions and may feel that their loss and grief are unique due to the personal fable. The grief process may also impact their relationships with others, and they might feel guilty about yearning for autonomy in the wake of a parent's death.