Four-year-old Marta and Tui are arguing in the pretend area. Marta wants to make a doctor's office and have Tui bring her baby in because she is hurt. Tui has both of the dolls and intends to take her "twins" shopping instead. Their voices get louder and angrier. Marta shouts, "But I'm the doctor and your baby fell off the chair. She broke her arm so you have to bring her to me." Tui insists,

Question

"No, I hate you! I'm going shopping." Marta makes a grab for the doll and the arm breaks off. Tui is in tears and Marta is wailing.

You step in to help them resolve their problem using a conflict resolution process. Describe what happens as you walk them through the steps. Write what you say and how the children might respond.

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

There are six steps to a peaceful conflict resolution process. To intervene with Marta and Tui, a teacher would help children:

a . Cool down. They are both very upset and need to express their feelings and regain their composure. The teacher would acknowledge "You are both very upset. This is not working out and your doll has broken. Let's put her arm back in and calm down." She would help the children calm down so they can think rationally about the problem.
b. Identify the problem. Allow the children to explain what the problem is from their perspective. Marta may say, "Tui won't bring her babies to the doctor." Tui may say, "Marta is bossy. My baby is not hurt. I want to go shopping." Help the children reframe the problem in a neutral manner. "Marta wants to play doctor and Tui doesn't want her babies to get hurt and go to the doctor, she wants to go shopping."
c. Describe the underlying feelings, worries, concerns, and values. The teacher can ask questions or invite the children to explain what they are feeling. She may also help the girls to understand what they might be feeling. "Tui is worried because she doesn't want her baby to be hurt. Does it remind you of your sister getting hurt last month Tui?" "Marta wants to play with you, but she also wants to be a doctor."
d. Brainstorm solutions. The teacher can ask for ideas how to solve the problem. "What can we do to make this work for both of you?" The girls may be able to generate their own ideas. "Tui can give me a doll." "I can go shopping and then bring my baby later." "We can find another doll." "My baby can come for a check-up instead." "Maybe the dog can get hurt instead." If the children are younger preschoolers, they might need help generating ideas for solutions.
e. Choose a solution and try it. The teacher helps the girls to negotiate and select a solution that will work for both of them. "Which idea would you like to try?" Let them evaluate all the solutions and choose one. "Okay, so you decided that Marta is going to be the doctor, but Tui's baby is just coming for a check-up, not because she got hurt. " "Will that work for you Tui?" "Okay." "Will that work for you Marta?" "I'll try it." Once the girls agree on a solution they can try it out to see if it works. "I will check back with you later to see how that works out."
f. Follow-¬up. The teacher encourages and helps the girls to begin to try out their idea if needed. She returns in a little while to see how it is going and if needed, to reflect on how to prevent problems next time. "How is that working out, girls?" "What do you think we could do next time if you have different ideas?" The teacher may also have to help the girls choose another solution if this one is not working out.