Melanie ran an ad searching for a potential roommate to share the rent on a two-bedroom house. Stephanie answers the ad, and Melanie suggests that they go out to lunch and assess their compatibility as roommates. At lunch, conversation starts off light, discussing where they grew up, etc. Then, Stephanie abruptly changes the topic of the conversation and discloses a time when she was sexually assaulted. Melanie is surprised that Stephanie is disclosing such intimate details since they have just met. Following Stephanie's self-disclosure, there is an awkward silence, and then Melanie changes the subject. Melanie is doubtful that they will get along as roommates. Discuss what happened in this incident in terms of reciprocity, appropriateness, and risk of self-disclosure.
What will be an ideal response?
(Student responses may vary.) Since they had just met, Stephanie should have assessed what would be appropriate and inappropriate to disclose. In the early stages of a relationship, we are trying to reduce our uncertainty about others by finding areas we have in common. In this state, self-disclosure is usually not at a deep level. Melanie probably thought the details of Stephanie's sexual assault were inappropriate at this stage of their relationship. Stephanie should be aware that as relationships progress and trust develops, self-disclosure can deepen, but it can be damaging early in a relationship. Stephanie also took a risk to make herself vulnerable. If she had assessed the risks, she may have decided that the disclosure was not worth the risk. She did not really know Melanie and that level of trust had not been established.
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