It often appears that we have more to gain by speaking than by listening. One big advantage of speaking is that it gives you a chance to control others' thoughts and actions. Whatever your goal—to be hired by a prospective boss, to convince others to vote for the candidate of your choice, or to describe the way you want your hair cut—the key to success seems to be the ability to speak well
Another apparent advantage of speaking is the chance it provides to gain the admiration, respect, or liking of others. Tell jokes, and everyone will think you're a real wit. Offer advice, and they'll be grateful for your help. Tell them all you know, and they'll be impressed with your wisdom. But keep quiet—and you think you'll look like a worthless nobody. Finally, talking gives you the chance to release energy in a way that listening can't. When you're frustrated, the chance to talk about your problems can often help you feel better. In the same way, you can often lessen your anger by letting it out verbally. It is also helpful to share your excitement with others by talking about it because keeping it inside often makes you feel as if you might burst. Although it's true that talking does have many advantages, it's important to realize that listening can have advantages, too. As you'll soon read, being a good listener is one good way to help others with their problems; and what better way is there to have others appreciate you? As for controlling others, it may be true that it's hard to be persuasive while you're listening, but your willingness to hear others out will often encourage them to think about your ideas in return. Like defensiveness, listening is often reciprocal: You get what you give. The author points out that listening to others can
a. give you ideas of topics for speeches.
b. make others more receptive to your ideas.
c. be exhausting.
d. simply be a waste a lot of time.
B
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