Describe the differences between “I” and “you” statements and offer examples of each
Please provide the best answer for the statement.
Answer: Statements such as “You are so thoughtless” and “You are never on time” are called “you” statements and are typically disconfirming. A more ethical and effective way to make one’s dissatisfaction known is by using a type of message called an “I” statement. “I” statements allow an individual to express his or her feelings, even negative ones, by focusing on their own experiences rather than making negative generalizations. “I” statements are conveyed through a three-part message that describes 1) the other person’s behavior, 2)your feelings about that behavior, and 3)the consequences the other’s behavior has for you. For example, “When you criticize my appearance (behavior), I feel unloved (feeling), and I respond by withdrawing from you (consequence).” “You” statements often lead recipients to feel defensive or angry because of the negative evaluation contained in the message and because the listener resents the speaker’s position of passing judgment. “I” statements can lead to more constructive resolution of conflicts because they arouse less defensiveness and because the receiver is more likely to listen and respond to them.
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