Explain the concept of couple meetings as discussed by Notarius and Markman in their five rules for enhancing intimate communication. List three of the "five rules."

Question

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

Responses should consider:
- Notarius and Markman were concerned with helping couples to acquire rules and skills that would help them develop and preserve loving, happy relationships, or assist them in repairing them when they run into serious trouble.
- Notarius and Markman suggested a strategy called couple meetings that partners can incorporate into their relationships to help keep them open, on track, and communicating well.
- Couple meetings require an agreement between partners to meet on a regular schedule to discuss specific instances of conflict-producing behaviors.
- The couple should set aside at least 30 minutes per week for open and honest communication, during which it is each partner's responsibility to speak and listen.

Notarius and Markman's five rules for enhancing intimate communication:
1. Make a date: set up a regular weekly time for half an hour that goes on each partner's calendar.
2. Focus on the problem: the couple meeting must be at a time and location that allow both partners to give their full attention to the issue at hand, without interruptions or distractions.
3. Use the "speaker-listener tool": The couple writes the word "floor" on an index card and passes it back and forth during the meeting to remind them that only the partner who has the floor may speak while the other one listens.
4. Do not blame or attack: this means that both partners share the problem under discussion, as well as some of the responsibility for solving it. Each person should focus on his or her feelings and role in the problem, not on the partner's. Blaming and attacking will cause the meeting to fall apart.
5. Reserve the right to take a break: Each partner needs to know that he or she can call for a break at any time. A break might be a good idea if anger, hostility, blaming, or attacking arises.