In their book entitled Straight Talk: A New Way to Get Closer to Others by Saying What You Really Mean, Miller, Wackman, Nunnally, and Saline (1982) characterize two forms of heavy control communication, the iron fist and the velvet glove. Describe these two forms of communication

Question

What will be an ideal response?

Answer 1

The iron fist, a form of active heavy control talk, uses a sledgehammer to get a point across whereas the velvet glove, a form of passive heavy control, uses a more indirect approach. Examples of the iron fist include name calling, blaming, accusing, threatening, putting down, ordering, ridiculing, criticizing, taunting, and using sarcasm. Velvet glove communication often involves attempts to manipulate through inducing guilt or sympathy and includes whining, denying, withholding, foot-dragging, playing the martyr, making excuses, and keeping score. Both forms of communication are detrimental to the health of relationships.