After giving birth to a stillborn infant, the woman turns to the nurse and says, "I just finished painting the baby's room. Do you think that caused my baby to die?" The nurse's best response to this woman is:
a. "That's an old wives' tale; lots of women are around paint during pregnancy, and this doesn't happen to them."
b. "That's not likely. Paint is associated with elevated pediatric lead levels."
c. Silence.
d. "I can understand your need to find an answer to what caused this. What else are you thinking about?"
ANS: D
The statement, "I can understand your need to find an answer to what caused this. What else are you thinking about?" is very appropriate for the nurse. It demonstrates caring and compassion and allows the mother to vent her thoughts and feelings, which is therapeutic in the process of grieving. The nurse should resist the temptation to give advice or to use clichés in offering support to the bereaved. In addition, trying to give bereaved parents answers when no clear answers exist or trying to squelch their guilt feeling does not help the process of grief. Silence probably would increase the mother's feelings of guilt. One of the most important goals of the nurse is to validate the experience and feelings of the parents by encouraging them to tell their stories and listening with care. The nurse should encourage the mother to express her ideas.
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